In the good old days, youngsters enjoyed the love, compassion and company of the parents and the grandparents. They also had the privilege of wise counseling of the elders and a strong moral support during difficult days. Those wonderful days are changing, giving place to days of neglect of the elderly. A day is set apart each year as ‘Elders Day’ to remind us of the need to care for our elders. But does that happen? The neglect continues except for a brief period of speeches, articles and celebrations.
A recent article in ‘The Week’ magazine titled ‘Age of Despair’ highlights the plight of the aged in God’s own country, Kerala. There are children who have abandoned the parents, unattended in hospitals and in old age homes. Many are sick and struggling to survive. They live in hell. India’s most literate state has the distinction of having the most number of old age homes in the country. One in five of the old age homes in the country are located in Kerala. Some spend their sunset years fighting court battles for maintenance from their children. A good number suffers in silence the ill treatment and neglect. In Kerala the women suffer more than men as they generally marry men older than them. Most old age homes have more women than men. According to 1991 statistics loss of spouse among women in the 60-69 age group was 53.8% as against 5% amongst men.
In Kerala the proportion of the population aged 60 and over is increasing. According to 2006 estimates the population of those aged 60 plus is almost 20% of the total population. Given the way elders are treated, the younger generation will become destitute in the next 20-25 years. The nuclear family system, the desire for a small family and migration are reasons for the neglect of parents. The present materialistic outlook of the younger generation, makes them respect and care for parents only if they are useful in some way. Property and bank balances are a great temptation for ill treatment and even murder of the elderly.
There is legislation that provides for the care and upkeep of parents. But who is to follow the execution of these court orders? If you are old and not useful, you are a forgotten generation. Today they respect the dead and not the living. Will there ever be lamentation for their ingratitude?
As a society we have strong moral obligations to protect people as they are ageing and lose the capacity to protect themselves. This is the state of affairs all over the world. At least in the eastern countries there is an element of concern and respect for the elders. They seek their presence and blessings. We need to study in depth the factors influencing this ugly trend and reverse the situation of neglect by the children, relatives, caregivers, care homes and hospitals. Otherwise we fail to protect the human rights of older people.
Despite the neglect and suffering, parents continue to love their children. There is a strong inner bond, which lovingly calls out: -
My child, when I get old, I hope you understand and have patience with me.
If you have spare time, I hope we can talk, even for a few minutes. I am always by myself all the time.
When the time of my death comes, I hope you hold my hand and give me the strength to face death.
And don’t worry, when I finally meet our creator, I will whisper in his ear to BLESS YOU, because you loved your mum and dad.
We love you,
Mum and Dad.
“Let the children not betray this trust.”
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